15 Top Vyvyan Moments

15 Top Vyvyan Moments

Vyvyan Basterd being a ruthless and sadistic maniac has attacked, beaten and even killed many innocent people over the course of the young ones. The following is a list of attacks Vyvyan has made on both his housemates and other people.

Attacks on RickEdit

Rick is Vyvyans main target of abuse

  • Smashed Ricks face into some lentils.
  • Punched Rick and set fire to his bed after a dispute over a bedroom.
  • Smashed Rick over the head and in the testicles with a cricket bat (he hit Rick so hard in the testicles that the bat broke)
  • Smashed Rick over the head with the bank in a game of monopoly, he also changed the rules of monopoly to abusing Rick such as sticking a card up Ricks arse and setting fire to Ricks bed.
  • Punched Rick over the couch after Rick tried to trick him into sitting on the rickety chair
  • Smashed a bottle over Ricks head after he couldn't be bothered to argue with him anymore
  • Punched Rick out after Rick asked Vyvyans mother why did she give him a girls name.
  • Set fire to Ricks bedroom, Rick in retaliation stabbed a needle into Vyvyans head. Vyvyan however pinned him to the wall with a crowbar and tried to hack him to pieces with an axe.
  • Hit Rick over the head with a frying pan.
  • Punched Rick after Rick told him to use his hands to work the VCR.
  • Hit Rick with a video cassette.
  • Tried to bury Rick alive after he fell into an open grave, when Neil pointed out that they couldn't bury Rick alive Vyvyan decided to kill him first and nearly beat him to death with a shovel.
  • Stole Ricks record player his parents gave him after his exams and threw it on the fire for a laugh.
  • Hit Rick with a poker knocking him out he then used him as a chair, and later woke him up by smashing a plate over his head.
  • Vyvyans child kicked Rick (much to Vyvys amusement) into a fire where his arse burned.
  • Threw a petrol Bomb into Ricks bedroom then as he had used a bottle of vodka for the bomb said Rick owed him money for the bottle.
  • Beat Rick very badly with a 2by4 after Rick remarked that "Sticks and stones may break my bones"
  • Threw a brick at Ricks head
  • Beat Rick relentlessly with a hammer, he knocked him over the bed with it then repeatedly hit him in the face with it for many hours afterward.
  • During the Virgin fight he threw a glass at Ricks head, stabbed him in the arse with a fork, tweaked his nipples, hit him over the head with a radio and tried to blow him to pieces with a cannon. Even when Rick admitted he was a vrigin Vyv still tried to kill him, Rick was only able to escape by not only paying Vyv money but also wearing a sign that said I am a virgin round his chest. Vyvyan still hit him with a mace.
  • He beat Rick relentlessly with a cricket bat out of boredom.
  • During a cricket match he not only made Rick play the stumps but cracked him over the head with a cricket ball and set fire to his arse.
  • Knocked both Rick and Neil out at the same time with a cricket bat.
  • During the making of the living doll video he smashed a bottle over Ricks head, punched him, beat him with a cricket bat and knocked him (along with everyone else) out with a sledge hammer.

Attacks on NeilEdit

Neil is less of a target of Vyvyans abuse than Rick. Vyvyans attacks on Neil are often for a reason. Sometimes ironically he even feels he is helping Neil. Neil however is still his main target of abuse after Rick.

  • Annoys Neil on the toilet.
  • Gives Neil three seconds to make the tea then smashes his favourite plate over his head, and later blames Neil for breaking his favourite plate.
  • Beats Neil with a cricket bat very badly.
  • Hits Neil over the head with a keetle (though this was intended by Vyvyan to be a harmless and amusing prank that he thought would make Neil laugh)
  • Hits Neil over the head with a hammer (as an anastetic because Vyvyan was going to cut him in half and along with the others eat him)
  • Smashed a window over Neils head because Neil asked "have we got a video"
  • Threw a petrol bomb into Neil and Ricks bedroom.
  • Hammered several six inch nails into Neils head (in an attempt to cure his cold through accupunture)
  • In another attempt to cure his cold he tried to hack his bottoms off and shove them up his nose.
  • Lifted Neil over his head in a fight with Rick and then threw him several feet in the air.
  • Smashed a lightbulb over Neils head
  • Knocked Neil out with a cricket bat in an attempt to relieve boredom
  • Knocked both Neil and Rick out at the same time with a cricket bat
  • During the making of the living doll video he punched Neil out, hit him with a shovel, threw a hammer at his head, tied his legs together, and knocked him out with a hammer.

Attacks on HimselfEdit

Vyvyan is shown to often inflict violence on himself for many reasons, fun, boredom or even by accident.

  • Smashed his head through a window and ate an exploding brick.
  • Cracked a wall with his head.
  • Had his friend stick a scalpel into his hand.
  • Created and drank a potion that caused all of his hair to fall out.
  • Cut one of his fingers off in an amusing trick.(this was an accident he meant to cut off a fake one but cut off the real one instead)
  • Kicked his own severed head down a railway line.
  • In an attempt to cure his hangover he strapped a bomb to his head and smashed his head off of a wall and hit himself with a hammer.
  • After beating Rick with a cricket bat he hit himself in the face with it.
  • Punched himself to prove he didn't care about himself.
  • Knocked himself along with everyone else, Neil, Mike, Rick and Sir Cliff Richard out with a sledge hammer

Attacks on SPGEdit

Though Vyvyan is very fond of his pet Hamster SPG (voiced by Rik Mayall) even SPG is not safe from his extreme violence, though usually unlike the other cases this is provocked.

  • Starved SPG for 10 months then threw him into a pot and through the floorboards.
  • Repeatedly jumped on SPG squashing him completely flat then put him into a toaster and drowned him.
  • Beat SPG with a hamster and threw him into a pit of hungry sharks
  • Used Spg as hankercheif and got him completely covered in snot.
  • Accidently killed SPG when he crashed his car and SPG was asleep on the radiator.

Damage to the householdEdit

Vyvyan frequently destroys the house when he is bored

  • Smashed through a wall onto the table.
  • Kicked the sink so hard it collapsed.
  • Punched his fist through a door.
  • Crashed through the wall into another house.
  • Smashed his head through the banister on the steps.
  • Ate the television set.
  • Set fire to Ricks bed.
  • Set fire to Ricks bedroom.
  • Wrecked the bathroom.
  • Tried to set off all of the fire extinguishers until he realised there were no fire extinguisherin the house.
  • Crashed a giant ball and chain through the house in attempt to set off the atomic bomb.
  • Burned everything in the house during the winter, including Ricks record player (though he did this more for a laugh) and all of Neils possessions.
  • One of his farts blew up the entire house after Mike lit a cigarrete.
  • Rigged a bomb to the front door bell blowing the drawing room to pieces.
  • Moved the entire house with his bare hands, smashing the drawing room to pieces in the process.
  • Drove his car through the living room.
  • Created a vaccum cleaner which destroyed a large section of the house.
  • Threw a petrol Bomb into Rick and Neils bedroom blowing them apart.
  • Smashed his head through a window.
  • After the bomb he put in the firdge didn't go off he smashed the kitchen apart with a cricket bat.
  • Kicked the television set through a window.

Other violent incidents Edit

  • Knocked both Mike and Sir Cliff Richard, along with Rick and Neil and himself out with a sledge hammer (this is the only time he has inflicted violence on Mike)
  • Once accidently blew several medeval peasants to pieces with a giant cannon (he was trying to shoot Rick)
  • Beat up a member of the rival university challenge team and then blew them up all with a bomb.
  • Killed a fellow student at a party (he punched him out and then burned him)
  • Tried to set off an A bomb.
  • Once fought with Rick so hard that the bed they were fighting on crashed throught the roof.


  • Vyvyan is technically responsible for killing all four members of the household as he is the one who crashes the bus they are all in over a cliff.
  • Rick has only inflicted violence on Vyvyan three times throughout the series which are , when Vyvyan burns his bedroom Rick stabs a needle into his head, and during the virgin fight when Rick grabs Vyvyans testicles and later crashes a cupboard over his head. On all three occassions Vyvyan was able to get the better of Rick afterwards and inflict more pain on him.
  • Neil has inflicted Violence on Vyvyan four times, once when they were mining for oil and Neil accidently stuck a pickaxe through Vyvyans head, when Neil became a policemen he hit Vyvy two times in the skull with a knightstick, and finally when Neil transformed into the incredible hulk, he punched Vyvyan out.
  • Vyvyan once goaded Neil into smashing Ricks face in.
  • Vyvyan created a potion that transforms anyone who drinks it into a an axe wielding homicidal maniac.
  • Vyvyan also once ate a dead rat.
  • His favourite game is Jelly Botty where you have to eat 18 curries.