Chess Fight

The Chess fight was a fight between Edward Elizabeth Hitler and Richard Richard in the series two episode Culture. It is considered one of the greatest fights in the whole series and is certainly one of the most violent with Ritchie stabbing Eddie in the testicles with an umbrella, and Eddie crushing Ritchies head in a fridge door (a scene which was duplicated in the Bottom movie Guest House Paridiso)

The Fight
The fight began when after losing their precious television Eddie and Ritchie decided to play a game of chess and have an evening of culture and sophistication. Ritchie however did not know how to play chess despite Eddie explaining it to him all night. Eventually after Ritchie failed to grasp the rules of chess once again in the morning, Eddie just decided to declare himself the winner of the game. Angered at having lost to Eddie once again Ritchie lost it and punched Eddie knocking him over. Eddie then pushed the table onto Ritchies toes crushing them. As Ritchie let out a blood curdling scream Eddie smashed a chair over his head knocking him over. Ritchie however picked up an umbrella and stabbed it into Eddies testicles. Ramming him into the kitchen Eddie however gained the upper hand by hitting Ritchie over the head with a frying pan knocking him down. He then pulled the umbrella from his testicles and beat Ritchie with frying pan beating him to the ground he continued to thrash Ritchie with the frying pan beating him into complete submission. After Ritchie was beaten almost half to death Eddie grabbed him by the hair and and began slamming his face in the fridge door, Ritchie begged for mercy but Eddie continued to smash his face in for several minutes. As he completely crushed Ritchies face into a bloody pulp he laughed at the irony of how people say television encourages violence and he was smashing Ritchies face in and they didn't even have one. Just then Ritchie emerged his face bloody broken and crushed and declared that they did have a televison. He told Eddie that he had hidden it for the night in the hopes that they could get a bit more interaction, Eddie then however smashed the television over his head.

Who wins
Eddie obviously, Ritchie lands one horrific move ruining Eddies chance of having children by stabbing an umbrella into his testicles. However Eddie inflicts way more pain and agony on Ritchie crushing his face into a bloody pulp, beating him with a frying pan and finally in a brilliant finisher move smashing the duo's beloved television set over Ritchies head.